Walk 17/2007 – Combrook, Compton Verney and lighthorne

Sunday 12th August 2007

There were eight of us for this walk and for once a balance of four men and four women. The journey to the start was not without incident as rather than take the planned direct route down the old Roman road, Fosse Way, we decided to make a detour to look at the internationally renowned picturesque village of Wappenbury.

But we eventually arrived at Combrook from where we set off. As we walked past some cottages we learned about “eyebrow” windows which get their name from their shape.

The route took us up the west side of the valley from where we had views overlooking the lake of Compton Verney. As we progressed a variety of animals was seen, but I must have had my eyes closed because I missed a donkey, a pair of buzzards and a grass snake.

However I caught up slightly during our coffee break when Trevor and I spotted what we thought was a brown furry animal. It might have been a hairy beaver but more likely a hedgehog, we think.

At one point the clouds came over and there were a few spots of rain. The ladies immediately donned their rain coats but us manly men braved the elements and avoided the need with a short stop for shelter.

Fortunately the sun came out and we were able to take a leisurely lunch lounging in the grass in a field by a lake. This spot would have been much more scenic if the landowner hadn't fenced the lake off and put up private keep out signs.

Upon the completion of the walk we went to the Antelope pub which we had passed en route. Here we sat outside and one point of note in the conversation was Emma’s view that the most important item of equipment for a lady as essential, if not more so, than her lippie, is her bra. This got me thinking that as a club we have not mentioned this vital piece of equipment in our guide to equipment. So I thought we should put that straight.

I think that when choosing a bra, women should seek the advice of us men as we are experts, particularly when it comes to taking them off! Also I think I have particularly relevant experience through my knowledge of the “Manual Handling Operations Regulations 1992” and the “Lifting Operations and Lifting Equipment Regulations 1998”

There are a couple of parts of these regulations which are particularly pertinent:

“.......... provide any of those .... who are undertaking any such manual handling operations .... precise information on:

the weight of each load, and

the heaviest side of any load whose centre of gravity is not positioned centrally.”

“....every lifting operation involving lifting equipment is:

properly planned by a competent person;

appropriately supervised; and

carried out in a safe manner.”

“...before lifting equipment is put into service for the first time .... it is thoroughly examined for any defect...”

So here we are then:

The Walking Guide to Mammary Support Systems

1. Displays the goods in the best possible manner with maximum exposure
2. Does not excessively flatter to deceive
3. Easy to remove especially by fumbling male admirers
4. Made from flimsy material which does not disguise the natural outline especially when cold and wet
5. Any colour but white
6. Straps should be extremely complicated and difficult to adjust thus needing regular attention from the Club strap adjuster
7. Comes with a matching suspender belt with equally difficult to adjust straps
8. Matching knickers optional
9. All equipment should have a safety inspection by a qualified person before each walk

It is important to get the cup size right so you need to understand what the sizing letters mean. As a reminder I have listed them here:

1. A – Angelic
2. B – Bijou
3. C – Classical
4. D – Decadent
5. DD – Dam Deviant
6. E – Enormous
7. F – Fantastic
8. G – Gratuitous
9. H – H–bombs

Alan (Club Strap Adjuster)

Walk rating – average

There were some pretty villages.	We get the first sighting of Compton Verney lake.
Trevor looks on in amazement. Is Emma really going to snog that horse? Oh, well there’s no accounting for taste.	The female contingent for this walk at the well in Lighthorne.
The route went through this eerie wood.	There’s nothing like a laid back lunch stop.
There were a few storm clouds around.	A Capability Brown landscape at Compton Verney.
Ok team listen carefully. Your next challenge is to see how many people you can fit into a mud hut.	Trevor thinks I’m joking whilst Owen prefers to wear it as a sombrero.
Now come on, surely you can do better than that. .	We walk along this fine avenue of Redwoods oblivious to the fact that it’s the wrong way.
Graham takes this unusual perspective of a Redwood.	There is a bit of woodland near the end.